Friday, September 26, 2008

Damn! Its Friday.

Most people are celebrating the coming of the weekend...but I have to work :(. Today is a daycare day for Norrin which includes lots of problems. I am the one who drops him off, so not only do I pack up supplies for his day, but I'm the evil person who drags him out of his warm bed, shoves him in a cold carseat and hands him off to strangers at the end of our half an hour drive. I describe the drop off as a scene from a Holocaust movie- mother and child separated, the child crying and reaching out for his mommy...all that's missing is the sad music. To add to my already overactive imagination, the caregivers had the nerve to tell me that Norrin isn't adjusting now. He's there so infrequently that he is sad while he's there. Have these women not worked with moms before? Now I have an extra dose of guilt and a little bit of sad reality to add to the thoughts I have that he's crying the whole time I'm gone. And while he's not crying all day, the caregivers say he's not playing, doesn't smile as much and just "isn't his usual happy self". I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. When he's home, he's a wild man. He runs from one room to the other, playing with toys, knocking pots and pans out of the cabinets and emptying any drawers that will open. I just hate picturing him sitting around, not playing...its just not like him at all. When Todd asked me what I want to do, I told him nothing. We have to see if he adjusts before we start trying to rearrange our life. I hope its just the change of classroom and the age that he's at. I have a consistent work schedule for the next three weeks, until his bday. Then, I have two weeks off and we'll probably have to start this whole process over again.

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